What do you do when your 19 year old son won't get a job?

He stays up all night (playing video games), sleeps all day, parties with his friends occasionally and not much else. His Dad gives him spending money and makes excuses for him. He also use to have a few chores around the house, but now he barely lifts a finger to help and is nasty and disrespectful to me, his Mom. My husband calls me the "complainer" and "the problem" that "drives him" to be verbally abusive toward me (as my husband is as well at times) and, I suppose, that is his excuse for the laziness as well. I feel like my husband is the enabler that has created this "creature" that use to be my son, and I have a right to be frustrated, disgusted at the verbal abuse and disrespect (from both of them) and lack of support from my husband. What do you think?