Am i being lazy or is this my low mood/depression and motiavation?

I have borderline personality disorder,i left inpatient therapeutic treatment at the end of april after 8 months,i left very positive, ive had a few low points but now this is about my 2nd or 3rd week staying in bed between my outpatient group therapy on a monday and friday,i feel dark black,today i didn't even go to my group therapy so i have been in bed mostly since monday i get up around the evening time ,isolating myself isn't a new thing and going out is mostly a real push for me, i do volunteer on a sunday this is fairly new and i have to force myself, ,i do question myself and wonder if its laziness , im not young though im 36 and have worked for 16 years(im not at the moment) ,i seem to have lost a lot of my confidence,i have told my doctor last week and i have a cpa at my cm ht on wednesday although i haven't met the new care co ordinater before so im not overly keen on going, thanks for listening